My Brother's Keeper
I have enjoyed visiting Amish communities In Lancaster and doing research into many aspects of Amish life, particularly the way that the community takes care of its own. There's a real willingness to live, not just talk, "we are our brother's keepers."
Those Amish who have farms and are ready to retire often sell the farms to their children -- usually the youngest so that they can take care of their parents the longest. The parents move to the back part of the main house or a separate little cottage called the dawdi haus (I've sometimes seen it written Dawdi Haus or daudi house). We Englisch sometimes have a similar concept and call it a mother-in-law apartment.
I noticed in some of the small towns around me that there are houses built with separate parts used for elderly parents. I think it's sad we don't have more like them these days or at least more duplexes. Our parents would often love to be around to spend time with their grandchildren and goodness knows, it's easier to keep a watchful eye out for an elderly parent who wants to remain independent but needs some things sometimes and it would sure save a drive. I moved closer to my mother after my dad died and she became elderly. But even twenty minutes away was sometimes enough of a distance when I was urgently needed. And then Mom got to where she also started meeting me at the door when I was to pick her up to go somewhere. One day I found out why -- she'd become a hoarder and oh my, it was something else to walk in there, get what she needed, and turn things over to someone to clear it all out. If she'd lived in part of my house or right next door, I think I'd have found out sooner.
I wrote about "our brother's keeper" in When Winter Comes, my story in An Amish Gathering, the second collection of novellas authored by Beth, Kathy, and me to be published in December by Thomas Nelson. This time, I changed it to "my sister's keeper." My mom is a twin (86 and they're both still here!) and I got the idea to write about a twin who feels she's failed when she doesn't keep her sister safe. The cover, posted here on the site, is so pastoral and beautiful, isn't it? I can't wait for the book to come out.
I hope you enjoy some time with an elderly relative of yours this week. I'm stopping to see my mom at lunchtime at the nursing home like usual and maybe we'll go get some fall colored silk flowers for her to make arrangements for her friends.
Have a wonderful, peaceful week!
Blessings,
Barbara
Those Amish who have farms and are ready to retire often sell the farms to their children -- usually the youngest so that they can take care of their parents the longest. The parents move to the back part of the main house or a separate little cottage called the dawdi haus (I've sometimes seen it written Dawdi Haus or daudi house). We Englisch sometimes have a similar concept and call it a mother-in-law apartment.
I noticed in some of the small towns around me that there are houses built with separate parts used for elderly parents. I think it's sad we don't have more like them these days or at least more duplexes. Our parents would often love to be around to spend time with their grandchildren and goodness knows, it's easier to keep a watchful eye out for an elderly parent who wants to remain independent but needs some things sometimes and it would sure save a drive. I moved closer to my mother after my dad died and she became elderly. But even twenty minutes away was sometimes enough of a distance when I was urgently needed. And then Mom got to where she also started meeting me at the door when I was to pick her up to go somewhere. One day I found out why -- she'd become a hoarder and oh my, it was something else to walk in there, get what she needed, and turn things over to someone to clear it all out. If she'd lived in part of my house or right next door, I think I'd have found out sooner.
I wrote about "our brother's keeper" in When Winter Comes, my story in An Amish Gathering, the second collection of novellas authored by Beth, Kathy, and me to be published in December by Thomas Nelson. This time, I changed it to "my sister's keeper." My mom is a twin (86 and they're both still here!) and I got the idea to write about a twin who feels she's failed when she doesn't keep her sister safe. The cover, posted here on the site, is so pastoral and beautiful, isn't it? I can't wait for the book to come out.
I hope you enjoy some time with an elderly relative of yours this week. I'm stopping to see my mom at lunchtime at the nursing home like usual and maybe we'll go get some fall colored silk flowers for her to make arrangements for her friends.
Have a wonderful, peaceful week!
Blessings,
Barbara
Posted by Barbara Cameron at 10/8/2009 7:25 PM 
Categories: An Amish Christmas, Amish fiction, An Amish Gathering
Tags: Amish fiction parents
Categories: An Amish Christmas, Amish fiction, An Amish Gathering
Tags: Amish fiction parents
Barbara, I know exactly what you mean, my dad passed 3 yrs ago. Mom hasn't been the same since he's gone, she is getting very forgetful, so my sister & I call her everyday, once a week we all go out to eat. She is 89 yrs young, we just watch her, we can tell that she is slowing down alot, so we do the best we can for her.
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Patti,
How nice that you are watching over your mother and also enjoying her for the time you have. One day you'll be glad you did!
Best wishes,
Barbara
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Interesting re the Amish "mo-in-law" apt - sure wish my mother had lived to a ripe old age (she was very intelligent with a great sense of humor) and had such a place nearby. But God doubled my loss as He promised Hw would in following Him with two more mothers who will all be together one day with me as He wills.
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Hi Judith,
So sorry you lost your mom at an early age and then lost two more mothers. But how wonderful that you had three positive mother figures in your life!
Take care,
Barbara
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