Happy Father's Day
I don't know how many fathers read this column although I DO know that men read Amish fiction. They read it for many of the same reasons as women do: for good stories and for something that speaks to the soul about people who have chosen a different way so they may more fully explore a deeper relationship with God and with their fellow man.
The Amish have more children than most Englisch families and so each father must work hard to support more and find ways to make each child feel loved. We all know how hard it is when we're faced with multiple requests for love, and needs to be fulfilled.
I have this theory that there are few perfect people on earth. Sure, there are a number of very special, spiritual people in our lives who serve as examples. But I always figured that if we were perfect we'd be flying around as angels or be up in heaven...I think we have many people here on earth to learn from...and to teach.
I've been reading a lot of nice messages about fathers on Facebook the last few days. Many people were blessed with wonderful, loving fathers. And mothers. But parents are no less imperfect and flawed and needing the help of our heavenly Father with their growth than us. My own dad wasn't the easiest to get along with as I grew older and it wasn't because I turned into an obnoxious teenager or anything. Dad had enlisted in the Navy after Pearl Harbor and went down in a training flight. He lived with operation after operation on his knee and nightmares of watching friends and fellow Navy men die in the crash. Finally, he was diagnosed with depression and manic depressive disorder, what we today call bipolar disorder.
That diagnosis explained so much. It made it easier to understand all the problems. And it taught me so much about being more understanding of others and problems they may be experiencing emotionally. We learn more, don't we, when things aren't easy? And growing up with a dad who was incredibly creative -- he was an amazing artist -- made me feel freer about being creative, too.
Now that I've been a parent I recognize all the good qualities my dad had when I was younger, and I can understand how difficult it must have been for him to have problems and still cope with supporting a family -- especially when he wanted to be a creative person. He did it -- he worked as a technical illustrator during the week and on weekends, especially Saturdays, he took us to the park and spread out his canvas and paints on the picnic table and painted. When it was time, he called us from our play and we ate a packed lunch.
Dad died about five years ago, painting pictures for the nurses who cared for him in hospice. He and the young nurse who cared for him had a special relationship. She said it was like she'd gotten a second granddad -- and I knew he felt like he'd gotten another daughter or granddaughter in her. She even came in on her day off believing he was going to die that day. The day he did, she cried with me. When I saw her eyes wander to the painting on the wall he'd done that she'd always admired, I knew it had to go to her.
Loved ones don't ever leave us. When I think of Dad, I don't need his physical presence. I can still feel it. And when I remember him, my favorite memory of this often-difficult man is that of the one who had us pile into the car with a packed lunch and his art supplies and head for the park. He found a way to be a parent as well as a man with dreams. I know from personal experience that that wasn't easy.
I hope you have a special memory of your dad, or can find peace in the knowledge that he might not have been what you hoped but that's okay. Because we have a Father looking over us with an even greater love than that of our earthly parents.
Blessings,
Barbara
The Amish have more children than most Englisch families and so each father must work hard to support more and find ways to make each child feel loved. We all know how hard it is when we're faced with multiple requests for love, and needs to be fulfilled.
I have this theory that there are few perfect people on earth. Sure, there are a number of very special, spiritual people in our lives who serve as examples. But I always figured that if we were perfect we'd be flying around as angels or be up in heaven...I think we have many people here on earth to learn from...and to teach.
I've been reading a lot of nice messages about fathers on Facebook the last few days. Many people were blessed with wonderful, loving fathers. And mothers. But parents are no less imperfect and flawed and needing the help of our heavenly Father with their growth than us. My own dad wasn't the easiest to get along with as I grew older and it wasn't because I turned into an obnoxious teenager or anything. Dad had enlisted in the Navy after Pearl Harbor and went down in a training flight. He lived with operation after operation on his knee and nightmares of watching friends and fellow Navy men die in the crash. Finally, he was diagnosed with depression and manic depressive disorder, what we today call bipolar disorder.
That diagnosis explained so much. It made it easier to understand all the problems. And it taught me so much about being more understanding of others and problems they may be experiencing emotionally. We learn more, don't we, when things aren't easy? And growing up with a dad who was incredibly creative -- he was an amazing artist -- made me feel freer about being creative, too.
Now that I've been a parent I recognize all the good qualities my dad had when I was younger, and I can understand how difficult it must have been for him to have problems and still cope with supporting a family -- especially when he wanted to be a creative person. He did it -- he worked as a technical illustrator during the week and on weekends, especially Saturdays, he took us to the park and spread out his canvas and paints on the picnic table and painted. When it was time, he called us from our play and we ate a packed lunch.
Dad died about five years ago, painting pictures for the nurses who cared for him in hospice. He and the young nurse who cared for him had a special relationship. She said it was like she'd gotten a second granddad -- and I knew he felt like he'd gotten another daughter or granddaughter in her. She even came in on her day off believing he was going to die that day. The day he did, she cried with me. When I saw her eyes wander to the painting on the wall he'd done that she'd always admired, I knew it had to go to her.
Loved ones don't ever leave us. When I think of Dad, I don't need his physical presence. I can still feel it. And when I remember him, my favorite memory of this often-difficult man is that of the one who had us pile into the car with a packed lunch and his art supplies and head for the park. He found a way to be a parent as well as a man with dreams. I know from personal experience that that wasn't easy.
I hope you have a special memory of your dad, or can find peace in the knowledge that he might not have been what you hoped but that's okay. Because we have a Father looking over us with an even greater love than that of our earthly parents.
Blessings,
Barbara
Posted by Barbara Cameron at 6/19/2011 12:29 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Quilts of Lancaster County series A Time to Heal
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Quilts of Lancaster County series A Time to Heal
Thanks for a great article on Father's day, it brought tears to my eyes....I also have special thoughts of my father who has been deceased for several years..... have a great day....
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Thank you, Mona. I'm glad you have some special thoughts of your father, too.
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Very Beautiful~
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Thank you for such a nice comment. I am trying to see my parents differently now that I am older...and I've learned so much more about forgiveness from the Amish.
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Father's Day has always been bittersweet for me. I really don't have any good memories of my father -- after my mother remarried when I was 6, my father stopped picking me up, coming on his custody day, or calling. It was about 10 years before I saw him again and then only about 5 times before he died when I was 28.
My stepfather was an okay guy -- I had everything I needed and many things I wanted -- until he started to sexually abuse me in my teens. I don't know if my mother knew and just ignored it or if she was clueless. Moving out was the best thing I every did.
I am very thankful that I had my church family to get me through everything and I was able to continue to know that I had a loving Father in heaven. I am envious of those with the "perfect" father but am so grateful that my husband has been a wonderful father to our daughters. They have been very fortunate and blessed.
Barbara, I'm glad you have good memories. Treasure them always. You have been blessed.
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Barbara Ann, I am so glad that you had your church family to be supportive and loving after having such terrible experiences with your father and stepfather. And how wonderful that you now have a loving husband.
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